Thai Me Up & Spank Me

It’s a hard life. It’s Monday morning, I’ve got a week off, I’m on my third cup of tea, the Test Match Special is on the ‘puter & I’m tucking into the leftovers of yesterday’s Thai seafood salad. T’is a very versatile dish, Thai (insert protein) salad. Once the basic noodle & dressing bit is sorted you can chuck a whole variety of veggies, meats and/or fishy things into/onto it. Some recipes for this call for a staggering amount of raw onion which is a shame really coz the dish is all about balance, each mouthful ought to offer something different depending on which morsels sneak into your gob with the noodles.

Basic Thai Glass Noodle Salad

100g glass noodles (serves 2)
Juice of 3 limes
Good glugg of fish sauce
Pinch of sugar
A couple of red bird’s eye chillies finely chopped
A cucumber cut into small inch long sticks
1 small red onion or a couple of shallots sliced into semi rings
A handful of coriander leaves

The noodles are soaked in hot water for 3 or so minutes. As soon as they’re al bundy you bung them in cold water then drain. Then you mix the lime juice, fish sauce, sugar & chillies, tasting to make sure the balance is right. Chuck everything together & now you’re ready to add your whatnots of choice……

A Choice Of Whatnots

Seafood – we had mussels, prawns & squid yesterday. I steamed the mussels, removing them as soon as they opened. We had a kilo which was rather a lot so I saved the biggest 20 for a Spanishy tapas thing (see below). The juice was then strained & added to a pint of so of water, some tamarind paste, sliced ginger & a few whole cloves of garlic. The squid & prawns were “barely” cooked in this broth, which can be used for making soup with. The garlic was added to the salad.

Cow – marinate a nice, lean steak in olive oil, black pepper & garlic. Flash fry it on all sides, leave it to rest then slice it thinly. We like our meat still mooing in the middle, it should at most be rare.

Duck's Breast – Done like the cow but should be pink not rare

Tuna – Rub olive oil into a nice, thick tuna steak. Season then flash fry it on all sides. As soon as the last bit of “flipping” has taken place pour a good slurp each of soy sauce & balsamic vinegar into the pan. It’s all-action stuff as the liquid will spit & splatter. Turn the tuna over in it before removing. Now reduce to a thick syrup which you then spooned over the fish. You can roll it in toasted sesame seeds if you want. When cool it’s sliced. Like the steak it should be raw in the middle. It’s also very impressive visually.

Minced Pork – Fry the pork “hard” to evaporate any liquid it might contain. Add minced garlic, shrimp paste, pepper, fish sauce & a pinch of sugar.

Veggies – Carrot cut into sticks, mange tout, asparagus, baby sweet corn, spring onions, bean sprouts, even halved cherry tomatoes. They’re not very “Thai” but their acidity suits the dish well.

Topping – A handful of dried shrimps get a good pestling in a mortar then fried, adding chopped ginger, shallot & garlic. When they’re all nice & crispy they’re sprinkled atop the salad. The garlic & ginger, especially, are rather essential to the dish imo. Make sure the garlic doesn’t burn.

Finally a little fresh mint can be added along with the coriander leaves for a slightly Vietnamesey twist.

You might need to tweak the dish with some more lime juice and/or fish sauce before serving.



Garlic Mussels

Terribly simple yet totally moreish. A couple of cloves of minced garlic are mixed with olive oil, pepper & finely chopped parsley. Place the barely steamed mussels (left in one of their valves) on a baking tray adding a spoonful of garlic goo to each. A sprinkling of fine bread crumbs can be added too for a toasty effect. Grill for a minute or so and serve with crusty bread.